and this is why i wouldn't be a good teacher.

Yesterday Lucy invited me over to her house, and her sister Georgia and her nephew, three-year-old Gregory, were staying over for the weekend. When I first met gregory, I was like, "aw, he's so cute!" He's a chatty little fella. But just as a couple of hours went on, I began to see that even though Gregory was cute, he wasn't the best behaved kid. Not that he was a bad one, like hitting people or raving around or anything, but you could tell right away that he wasn't as disciplined as he should've been. Throughout the evening I kept picking up on inconsistencies with his mom and how she was treating him - or as Matt Tuttle would input, "reinforcing" (or lack thereof) his behaviors - and that always annoys me. The same thing happened when one of the secretaries brought her three-year-old son to the office. He was a little more rambunctious and defiant than Gregory, and he was even disrespectful to me, but his mom didn't really handle it in a way that would teach him to be more respectful to me. He didn't even really apologize. For both cases, I totally wanted to step in and be firm and stern with them, discipline them myself, but I had to keep my mouth shut and just watch as this all went on before me, because neither of them are my kids, and neither were not placed under my care. I watched as Gregory threw mini-fits and his mom would give in. I'm surprised at myself at how unfazed I am by tantrums. I'd stand my ground. But when the secretary brought her son to the office and yesterday with Lucy's nephew, the moms were right there. I couldn't tell them how to raise their kids or how to teach them. I'm a 19-year-old, and they're...well, they're older. Who am I to tell them how to discipline their boys?

I really hope I'm not like that when I become a mom. Those kind of discipline inconsistencies annoy me so much. I always pick up on how parents deal with their kids. I think my parents taught me too well. I say that to them all the time.

This is partially why I don't want to be a teacher. I don't know if I could deal with that everyday, with more than one kid. I know I could influence them because as their teacher they'd be under my care, but I think I'd be so overwhelmed that it would be more detrimental than beneficial for both them and me.

Teaching older kids would be worse! I'd be so self-conscious about teaching well but also being likeable AND deal with misbehaved kids that I'd probably explode.

There are other reasons why I don't want to be a teacher, too.

So, mid-july when I had my lazy week and didn't do anything at work and didn't do anything after work (which was terrible, by the way. I hate being idle and lazy), I randomly decided to google a bit about the publishing industry.

Why, you ask?

Well, usually when people ask my what my major is and I answer, "English," they go, "Oh, so you want to be a teacher?" And obviously, I do not. So just so they wouldn't look down on me for having no idea what to do with my life, I'd answer, "Oh, but I'm thinking of going into the publishing industry." Which used to be only a quarter true. It was a very distant possibility.

But googling stuff on it during that week, it totally became 100% true.

Haha this became an uber long post and now I'm sleepy and don't feel like explaining why right now. I guess it'll be saved for another post :P