Lone shopper.

Shopping is not a recreational sport for me.  When I have nothing to do on a Saturday (those unusual kind of Saturdays), a light bulb doesn't go off in my head that say, "Hey, you should go shopping!  It'll be fun!"  I don't go to stores for the sole purpose of hunting for sales or obtaining the latest trend.  Spending hours in a mall more often than not kills my feet and makes me feel like it was totally not worth it if I walk out of the mall empty-handed.

However, hear me out.  I'm not a shopping hater.  I don't dread the act of shopping like other people do.  I don't (not always, at least) drag my feet around from store to store.  I do enjoy finding a good deal on things I'm actually looking for, spending time with people I love, and trying things on.  Especially skirts and dresses.  I love cute dresses.  But I do have an set of circumstances that provide the ideal environment in which I really enjoy shopping.  

I like to shop by myself.

Yes, as a self-proclaimed introvert, I am proud that I enjoy shopping by myself.  And I see nothing odd or wrong with it.  In fact, I don't think this syndrome is limited to introverts.  My sister Pam is an extrovert and she enjoys shopping by herself.  I actually reinforce it for her because I prefer being very happy for her when she comes home and shows me the wonderful things she got rather than go through the trouble of joining her in the process of finding them.

For me, there are a number of reasons why I enjoy shopping alone.  Briefly (and selfishly, I guess), I get to go where I want, when I want, and get what I want.  When I shop by myself I don't have to waste time going to stores I don't really want to go to, and in the stores I want to explore, I can take as much or as little time as I want.  When I shop by myself I can take the time to decide whether or not I really want something without feeling pressured to make a decision quickly so I wouldn't waste someone else's time.  Also, shopping by myself gives me the space to look at or try on something that's not typically "my style" without being concerned with the opinions of others.

Essentially, I like shopping when I have a clear idea of what I'm looking for and when I've got some time to browse around with no particular time constraints or things to get ready for.  It's relaxing and enjoyable.  You should try it if you haven't before and see if you like it.  It's not for everyone, but I'll think you're pretty cool if you do!

Must. Stay. Cool. (Physically and emotionally)

One of the many things you may not know about me is that I do not function well in heat and humidity.  It's not a pretty sight.  I don't mind sweating after some physical activity, but I don't like sweating from simply sitting down in my seat.  You'd think since I'm already sweaty, I wouldn't mind moving around because it doesn't make a huge difference.  But no, it deters me from doing anything other than sitting still.  And it makes me sluggish and tired, which makes me feel lazy and less able to concentrate on whatever work I need to get done.  Then at the end of the day I'm sweaty and tired from being unproductive, which then makes me frustrated.

NYC's humidity levels are the almost the only thing I don't like about summertime.  It creates an environment that allows lazy inclinations and stubborn frustrations to flourish and thrive.  It's terrible for having hard conversations, conducive to anger when things are clearly out of your control, and seems to make missing your fiance about ten times harder to deal with.

As I was writing this, here's an excerpt that came to mind:

"The whole commandment that I command you today you shall be careful to do, that you may live and multiply, go in and possess the land that the Lord swore to give to your fathers.  And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not.  And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live on bread alone, but man lives on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.  Your clothing did not wear out on you and your foot did not swell these forty years.  Know then in your heart that, as a man disciplines his son, the Lord your God disciplines you.  So you shall keep the commandments of the Lord your God by walking in his ways and by fearing him.  For the Lord your God is bringing you  into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and springs, flowing out in the valleys and hills, a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive trees and honey, a land in which you will eat bread without scarcity, in which you will lack nothing, a land whose stones are iron, and out of whose hills you can dig copper.  And you shall eat and be full and you shall bless the Lord your God with the good land he has given you."
---Deuteronomy 8:1-10

When worlds collide.

One thing I'm not looking forward to about the wedding:

People staring at me.  I know it's pretty unavoidable, but honestly, I'm just not looking forward to that aspect of the wedding.  Especially when I'm walking down the aisle.  I bet it's going to feel like an eternity.

One thing I'm looking forward to about the wedding:

Watching my worlds collide.  I saw a glimpse of it at my bridal shower.  It was so much fun seeing some of the most important women in my life get together for some playful competition and to share in celebrating this new chapter of my life.  I liked that my friends got to see a little bit of what my family is like and my family could see a glimpse of who my friends are.

That's what I've always liked about celebrations that have to focus on me.  It's not the attention or hub-bub of craziness or gifts that I enjoy for birthdays, graduations, and etc.  It's having an excuse or reason for bringing together people who would not normally interact with each other on any other occasion.  I think people from one world have a lot to offer and receive from another world, and I like being a bridge in that gap.  Not always, of course.  It's not always an easy thing.  But I think there are points of intersections where I see a glimpse of God's beauty in community when things like that happen.  And it's so cool that God invites us to be a part of it.

And oh boy, I'm anticipating a lot of worlds colliding at the end of this month.  Brace yourselves, folks.

Also, for those of you attending all of the wedding shenanigans, be warned:  it will not be your normal reception celebration.  But I hope you'll feel welcomed and have fun!

Why lists work for me.

Lists often function as flotation devices for me.  They help me function in an ocean of thoughts or help me get out of brain traffic jams.

During my conference last week I felt like I was held in suspension above a large chasm, having left one side but not really moving towards the other side yet until the conference was over.  But now that I'm back, I feel like I'm just pulling through the mud of this heat in a wandering spirit, being pulled from one thought or task to another, not really getting anything done or when I do, not really feeling accomplished.

So I think the solution to this mind packed with little details here, tiny things to consider here, things to get done but those things not coming to the forefront of my mind is:  to make lists.

They are concrete and allow me to tie all of my thoughts and tasks to something that won't float away from any small distractions.  And then I can refer back to my lists instead of trusting my unreliable brain to remember what I need to do or think about.  And THEN, when I actually complete something, I can cross it off and I don't have to think about it anymore!

I can also use that space (particularly when I have long lists and type them in an outline form on my computer) to brainstorm ideas, questions, and thoughts freely without feeling like I'm signing my life away to a decision or losing something that could potentially grow into something better.

So far, my outline for this summer is two pages long.  And those are only my initial thoughts.

Lists are wonderful.  Gosh, no wonder why I'm 89% "Judging" on the Myers-Briggs test.  In dealing with the outside world, I prefer to have things decided and set.  I definitely enjoy creating structures and order!