My one night of the blues.

I have four godsisters and one godbrother, a godmother and a godfather.

Okay, they're not really my godfamily anymore because I'm over 18 and technically an adult and so if my parents suddenly died (which God has been pretty merciful about so far), I obviously wouldn't need to be handed over to anyone to be looked after.  But I still consider them my family even though we don't talk or interact as much as we used to because I know they do still love me and would take care of me if I needed any help.  It also helps that our parents still have very strong ties and connections with each other.

I bring them up because I was thinking about some periods of time when most of us did spend a lot of time together.  For me I think it's where some of our family kind of dynamics really took root (well, at least me for me, it did - I can't speak on behalf of the rest of my sisters).  Every summer when I was younger my family and I would lead a team out to Arizona to the Navajo Reservation to host a Vacation Bible School for the kids and adults in the area.  We would go with different teams of people each year, all from different churches in the NYC/LI/NJ area, and there were a number of years where different members of my godfamily would come and join the team.

Since my older sisters and I were so young (elementary/middle school age) at the time, we learned a lot from our godsiblings (but especially my godsisters) who were much older than us.  I looked up to them so much.  They took care of me, gave me attention (which, as the youngest, I loved, of course), and taught me things I never knew how to do (I think Jess, the oldest, might have taught me how to braid and french braid hair - I'm not quite sure, but I definitely know I asked her to braid my hair a lot during those summers because I liked it so much).  I can remember significant moments where I was reprimanded by my godmother (I was so scared of her), and felt embarrassed by my godsiblings when I said something or did something to cause myself to blush or want to run away.  Great family stuff.  We bonded like there was no tomorrow.

I'm not being sarcastic, I promise.  I absolutely loved spending time with them.  We were out in Arizona for a good ten days.  And so, here's why I'm telling you the truth that I really bonded with them: on the night we'd get  back from Arizona (and only during the years that my godsisters were definitely there), after I'd get into bed because I was supposed to go to sleep, I would cry.  And believe me, I tried to stop myself.  Even though I was little I hated how sensitive I was and didn't like it when I cried, and it seemed embarrassing especially since I shared a room with my two sisters and couldn't really muffle the sound.

I remember being so embarrassed, too, when my parents finally came in and asked what was wrong because they heard me crying from down the hall - only for me to tell them that I missed my godsisters so much after not being around them for several hours.  You see, we had returned to NYC before dinnertime, and so I had just seen them several hours prior (do you see why I felt so embarrassed?).  I hadn't even gone a full day or even half a day before I started intensely missing them.  Their active presence in my daily life for ten straight days had such an impact on me that I couldn't help but feel some kind of vacuum from spending a night without them.  Ten days.  It was not even two weeks and yet I had such a strong connection to them that it seemed wrong (and completely silly) to suddenly have to depart from them.

Here's why I bring this up, though.  That experience came to mind recently because it's as close as it gets (especially as old as I am) to what I experienced last week coming back to my apartment in Binghamton from my mid-west and NYC Christmas adventures.

That's all I have to say.

a great start for spring break :D

these past few days have been pretty awesome.
i stayed over at josh's place with a bunch of people and we had fun playing balderdash all the way up until 3:30 am, with me falling asleep later than that because steve's feet spaz occassionally, and he snores sometimes, and eddie's hamster is nocturnal apparently and likes to run around in her cage at the wee hours of the morning.

then of course we all depart, and i stay awake with josh for the whole ride again (it's just what i do now), and it was interesting having steve join our little party. we dropped him off @ his mom's place in white plains, and then crossed back over the river to drop off michelle (whom i did NOT want to depart from) and then had perfect timing reaching josh's house just as my dad pulled in to pick us up.
auntie yan (josh's mom) is the bestest godmother anyone could have. as soon as she saw me she said, "i didn't even know you were coming, but you must've smelled it," and of course i have NO idea what she's talking about, until she brings me to the kitchen, pulls out a shop rite fresh bake shop bag and puts two pistachio muffins in there and hands it to me. she always gets them for me because she knows i love them :P oh man she rocks.

it was so nice to come home.

and today, our family had to go to a couple of cemeteries for ching-ming, which made me zombie-like on the car rides, but it wasn't too bad. we ate dim sum with grandma in elmhurst @ east buffet which was really yummy because i really really missed eating siu-mai! sighhh. so good.

then dad dropped pam and me off in flushing where we saw brendon crossing the street. pam called him and pretended we got snowed in and just got home this morning. that was pretty funny. we went to get our hair cut, but it was pretty full so we had to wait a bit. but it wasn't too bad.

i was REALLY excited to get my hair cut. like really really. i love my hair, but the front was really bothering me. it just wasn't what i wanted. so pretty much i look the same, except my bangs are a little shorter. my hair wasn't even layered as much as i'd like, but i was really really happy with my hair. so basically i got a trim. i thought it was going to be a more drastic change, but this is good. i didn't really want a drastic change, especially a bad one.

oh, okay, so i was a little worried because you know the day you get your hair cut it's NEVER the same after you get home and wash it and whatever, but i really enjoyed it while it lasted. i didn't HAVE to wash it because technically it was washed, BUT i did something so out of character today that forced me to...

i went running.

i KNOW. big shocker, right? me, the person who absolutely despises running, did it today. and not just for five minutes. i KNOW. jeez. but wait, let's back up.

after pam & i got our hair cuts, libby met us in flushing, and so did dan, and the four of us went to sago to get some drinks and a snack to hang out. it was really fun, i'm glad we did it. then we were talking about my short stories and this aloe vera drink that dan said was really good, so we decided to spontaneously buy a bottle of aloe vera, bring it back to our house, and have a short story reading. i only got to read one of my stories because dan had to get home for dinner, but it was still fun.

okay, now after dan took libby home, pam said she was going to go running for ten or fifteen minutes, then we could watch an episode of wildfire if we had time before dinner. now of course, pam does this often and it's obvious that i loathe running so much, so why would she ask me if i wanted to go too? so as i was settling onto the couch with my laptop until i started thinking about what i was going to do now. umm...nothing. and then i was like, man alive i haven't exercised in so long. and that football game on thursday really made me sore - thus reminding me that i was extremely out of shape. so i was sitting there, and then suddenly i got up and told pam i wanted to go with her.
of course, she was in utter shock but welcomed me to join her. and of course, i don't have running shoes, so i had to wear my suede champion ones, but whatever. we had a good run. we talked as we ran, which kept my mind off of the actual running, and then when we stopped running, we realized we had run for 30 minutes! CRAZY. i've never run for that long in my entire life.

but it was a good run. pam and i had a good talk. we talked through everything that was going on in our lives and between us, and i think things are smoothed over for real now. it was nice :]
i think i might actually not mind running now -- but only with pam :P

and thus, because i went running, i had to take a shower and mess up my poor lovely hair. it was the moment of truth. i knew it had to come sooner or later. so i did, and when i air-dried it (as i normally do - i try to avoid blow-drying as much as possible because it really damages hair), my bangs came out all puffy and fluffy, and my hair was frizzy and a little wavy and totally disappointing...

but, now comes to the reason why i'm blogging at this moment in the first place: i plugged in my straightener and am waiting for it to heat up to try and save my beloved hair.

so as i wait, i'll talk about a few random things:

i totally should've brought my black flats home from school. i left them there and took my beige slip-ons instead because i thought i wouldn't need them and i didn't feel like squishing stuff into my bag, so i left them at school. boy do i regret that. i realize that tomorrow is easter and i totally would love to wear a skirt, but now i don't have shoes to wear :[ my beige shoes aren't dressy enough, so it would look funny. AND, in addition to that, i can't find my open-toe strappy shoes to wear instead, so i don't know what i'm going to do! i know it sounds silly, but i really like to dress up, especially for easter, for God, even though the rest of my church doesn't really follow suit sometimes. i don't mind being different. i don't do it for other people. but if i don't have shoes, then it's not going to work.
sigh. i'll try looking for my strappy shoes again and if i don't, i'll have to make my beige shoes work somehow -_-

well, the straightener is ready. here goes nothing!

oh, and i realize i totally should've taken a picture with pam before we got our hair cut and before we showered because we both trimmed a little more hair ourselves, so it would show a "before-and-after" kind of thing, but it's too late for that now. oh well.

man i feel like my hair is cooperating. i haven't looked in a mirror yet, so i'm gonna go do that now.

sorry for the pointlessly long blog. i was just rambling to share my random, boring thoughts.

all in all, it's been a GREAT beginning of spring break, and i'm really looking forward to the rest of it :D