Thoughts on life in Rochester.

So I may not know who I am anymore, have any close friends in the area, or know what gives me rest and life, but there is one thing I know during this season of life besides how I am enjoying married life:  I like living in Rochester.

I think a lot of that credit goes to the particular area of Rochester where I live.  The downtown city of Rochester may not be teeming with life as obvious as the hustle and bustle, flashy lights, and the Starbucks-on-every-corner of New York City, and it may seem a bit run down in some parts, but it's chock full of great things to do, places to explore, and food to eat.

As I was thinking about how to list out the reasons why I like living in Rochester, I started to realize that a lot of them overlap in some ways or are sub-categories in other ways.  But I think there's one over-arching, summarizing phrase (that I heard someone use once, but I now use all the time) to describe why I like Rochester:  it's a big city that acts like a small town.

So instead of reasons why I like living in Rochester, here are some of the reasons why I like about Rochester's "big city, small town" feel (in no particular order):

1. Downtown Rochester has many neighborhoods, and they each maintain their own unique identity without having to go very far.  The South Wedge has a hipster, creative, eco-friendly vibe going on.  The 19th Ward is extremely diverse, varies in socioeconomic backgrounds, and is a bit more run down.  The Neighborhood of the Arts (NOTA) has tons of galleries, coffee places, and artsy-fartsy decorations.  Those are only a few, and it only takes a few minutes to explore one neighborhood from the next.  
   
2. It's big enough to have all of your usual big-name restaurant/store chains, but it's also small enough to have "Rochester only" chains.  You've got your typical franchises like Target, Starbucks, and Applebee's.  You've even got your less common, famous places like Dinosaur BBQ and Texas Roadhouse.  Rochester's even big enough to have chains that I wasn't able to have easy access to growing up in New York City (e.g., Red Robin)!  But then you have these local small chains like Java's, Boulder Coffee, and Colie's Cafe, that are in maybe two or three different locations in the Rochester area.  You can't find them anywhere else!
   
3. On the surface, Rochester may seem boring to some, but when you look, there's way more to do than  typical small towns that only have bowling lanes and movie theaters.  There are plenty of meritorious theatres, museums, galleries, and events to participate in when you're in Rochester.  From concerts to races, parades to festivals, and even open mics and service opportunities, there's plenty happening around the city.  And with things like classes that you could take at one of the universities, Monroe Community College, YMCAs, art centers, or even at a local microbrewery or coffee roasters, there are plenty of communities to join and things to do.
   
4. There are enough famous historical figures and events that Rochester can be known for, but it's not so much that's it's a bit crazy.  We're where George Eastman developed the handheld camera and founded his Kodak company, and where Susan B. Anthony lived and persuaded the University of Rochester to admit women.  We're home of the original garbage plate, and where the first Wegmans store opened.  These are all well-known enough to put us on the map and not to be forgotten, but not overwhelming enough to take over the city.
   
5. Particularly because of where our apartment is located, it's really easy to walk or bike to most places.  And if we have to drive, it's maybe 20 mins tops.  I can walk down to the Genesee Center of the Arts for my photography class in less about fifteen minutes.  The Abundance Co-op Market is three or four blocks west.  The central public libraries are a mere ten minute walk.  The Public Market is a mile away.  Dollar movie theater?  Less than a 20 minute drive.  It takes two or three minutes to get to the awesome Museum of Play.  The public transportation system isn't all that convenient, but the roads are pretty pedestrian and bike friendly.  It's especially helpful that the roads aren't always so congested so that it's scary or dangerous to bike.

So that's all I've got so far.  It's been fun exploring the Rochester area.  And even if the "smallness" and traditions of Rochester may grow all too familiar, the beauty is that it's big enough that there are always new things to try.

And you know what's nice about all of this for me?  It's beginning to look and feel like home.

And yet, I am a little bit skeptical about how much I like it here.  Like what happens so often with new toys, new gadgets, and so on, it's easy to get caught up in the newness of it all before the shiny-ness starts to wear off.  Soon enough you may start finding what was once new has become obsolete and has lost its intrigue, mystery, and delight.

But I'm hoping I grow deeper in my understanding of the brokenness and joys of this city.  I hope I grow a deeper sense of commitment, love, and compassion for the people, networks, and systems within it.  I hope God will help me learn to adopt this city as my own the way He adopted me.   

Happy Post #4

31. The view of the sunset from my apartment.
32. Sitting near the warm and toasty radiator on a cold day.
33. Finishing a book I've been reading for a long time and then starting a new book.
34. Making homemade soup that turns out just the way I like it.
35. Discovering new places to visit in Rochester.

What makes you happy?

Pursuing?

Whether I'm scared or worried, I'm not quite sure.  I believe I have matured and grown to a point where I'm aware that I'm not serving others well when I don't take care of myself.  So I think I've grown a healthy pattern and attitude of not literally overworking or constantly being preoccupied with my work or relationships.  It's not as awkward or difficult for me to "end" my days well or carve out time for sabbath each week because I know it's important.

The problem that scares or worries me, though, is not knowing what to do with the space and time I have.  The amount and quality of ministry work that I have had to do, think, and pray about over this school year so far has been draining me in ways I never imagined would drain me.  It has chipped, worn, and shaken me emotionally and spiritually in ways I don't even know how to articulate anymore.  So I know I need to include habits and patterns and make time and space for activities, people, and processes that will give me life and help me grow as a whole person, not just in leadership.

This search for the new Mrs. Bixler has been tough.  At first it was exciting to dream and imagine and create the possibilities, but now that I've actually come to a point today where I need new life and rest right at this moment and am still "in process" - it's a bit disconcerting and disorienting.  I don't feel physically drained, so I don't want to take a nap.  Thinking about what supplies I would need to buy in order to bake something seems more time consuming and draining than it would be worth to actually bake something.  I'm uninspired to sing or write a song.  Watching something feels like a waste of time and starting a craft project feels like a chore.  Reading a book seems like a source of escape instead of a source of life, and my photography class doesn't start until two weeks from now.  And since I don't really have any friends in the area that give me life - ones that can just listen or just sit with me and keep me company because they already understand me - it just feels like I've hit a dead end.

Maybe it's the weather.  It's gotten mighty cold and gloomier in Rochester recently, and this post is in such stark contrast with my previous post I wrote just a few weeks ago that things could change tomorrow for all I know.

I hesitate to post this because I don't know what I'm really trying to say or share, and it hasn't really helped me process things all that much, but at least it's something.  At least I've showed up.  The problem, though, is that it's starting to get harder and harder to show up when it feels like God isn't meeting me there.  I know in my head that the truth is He is, but it doesn't help when it doesn't feel like it's true.