the beauty of excellence

the beauty of excellence is that it is art.
you make it your own.
you want more color? pour on the color.
you think it needs music? bring the music to life.
you think it's easy? heck no it isn't.

the complex thing about art is that there is a standard,
but it's taking a step beyond that standard
or breaking that standard
that makes it unique,
makes it beautiful,
makes it art.
that's the beauty of excellence.

what's remarkable about this beauty of excellence
is that it can't be found in this world we reside in,
but only in God.
He finds superiority in our brokenness,
our sufferings,
our weaknesses,
when we find inferiority.

if we strive to meet the standards,
we'll fall short.
so why strive at all?

the beauty of excellence is that if the standards of the art aren't broken,
you wouldn't be able to find
grace so deep or
mercy so wide
that it mends the brokenness
we once fought to prevent.

car rides.

sitting in the back seat, staring at cars fly past ours in the other direction,
wondering where they're going,
how long it'll take for them to get to their destination,
what they're thinking while they're on the road.
sitting in the back seat, not having to navigate,
to pay attention to signs,
whether or not cars are signaling,
not needing to talk to the driver or anyone else.
keep to yourself, think as loud as you'd like.
you've got the whole back seat for your own,
so fill the space by emptying everything you've got.

a walking double C on the outside, double W on the inside

CC = calm & collected
WW = worry wart

on the last day of classes before spring break, the number of things i have to do hit me like a ton of bricks. and it just got worse and worse as i came home and have been home for a couple of days now.

and it's completely my fault.

there are so many things i should've done way before spring break. and now i must do the best i can until i get to school, where i will have very, very little time before everything starts eating away at me completely. i'm trying not to regret my actions (or lack thereof) pre-spring break, but it's very difficult.

i've been trying to relax, but at the same time in my mind, everything that i have to remember to do before our family leaves for washington d.c., during washington d.c., and when i get back from washington d.c. keeps rolling over and over in my mind. this is what i get for lack of responsibility, procrastination, and putting my needs above others.

i feel insane. and i feel like i am complaining/whining right now for something that is nobody else's fault and is in nobody else's control, so i will stop writing now.

time to be more productive. let's get this vacation itinerary done and overwith.

i'll write a more interesting post when i'm in washington.