let it go. let it roll right off your shoulder. don't you know? the hardest part is over.

I think God has been giving me a taste of my own medicine. I get it. Thanks, God. I guess I deserve that.

It's hard letting go of your rights, you know? It's hard to stop myself from retaliating to the little nicks at my heart. It's easier to victimize ourselves. It always is. It's harder to say, 'Hey, I have the right to be angry/annoyed/frustrated/insert-your-feeling-here, but I'm going to choose not to be.'

Dying to myself is a process. Please be patient with me as God continues to free me from my selfish desires and I learn to give up my rights, to give up what is good, for what He says is better.

I've been tasting the freedom, and it is good.

cheesy, i know.

I was going to recap the first two weeks back at school in a narrative style, but too much time has passed and too many things have happened since then to do anything about it now.

I was even in the middle of writing another blog just the other day, but something came up that my post didn't seem so appropriate anymore...so oh well.

All I can think of saying is: the leaves are always changing colors, no matter what season it is.

So many colors have changed their colors, and yet so many are still green.

once upon a time...

August 29th, 2009

"I am a dreamer, take me higher. Open the sky up, start a fire..."

I reflexively groped around for my cell phone, which was somewhere under my pillow, making my bed vibrate and singing Bethany Dillon's "Dreamer" song. I opened my eyes as best as I could before pressing what I assumed was the send button.

"Hello?"

"Tamawia?"

Ah. I knew who it was. She was the only one who pronounced my full name, Tamaria, that way. I grinned as much as a half asleep girl would at just being woken up at 9:20 AM on a Saturday morning and rolled my eyes. "Yes, Winnie? What's up?"

"Can you come to Ufest at 10?"

I couldn't help but sigh a little bit. Our University Fest was hosted by our school, Binghamton University, every year to invite the local community, as well as all the student groups to table, play games, and eat food with all the students, faculty and staff. It was raining outside, and I was kind of half hoping Katy McFadden, our Outreach Coordinator, would cancel because of the rain.

I posed this suggestion to Winnie.

"No, Katy said we're definitely still having it. She's not here. She's getting flyers printed at Kinkos. Can you come?"

And so...it begins.

TO BE CONTINUED...