When I came across this blog post and read the first paragraph, I screamed (all in my head, of course), "That's ME! That's exactly what I'm experiencing." That's the numbness I've kind of started to feel sink in. It's a scary feeling to recognize that you have no desire to do the things that used to bring you great joy. I don't know if I kept saying, "I'll do it later," over this month, but there definitely has been a lack of motivation to do anything because of this temptation to stop caring.
It's interesting that the author was talking about the connection between spiritual health and physical health. I disconnected with the author a bit at that point, mostly because I'm not overweight (thank the Lord), don't eat that poorly (hallelujah), and have actually been doing better in the physical fitness realm (it's a miracle). But I only disconnected just a bit. I have been feeling sluggish and not very well rested for a while now, even though I've been getting enough sleep. It's interesting, though, because the more frustrated I've gotten with life, the more I'm okay with taking it out via running. Just the other week I managed to run a total of almost 10 miles in a span of a few days! Trust me, that's a big deal in Tammy's world.
Nathan and I have set up a point system for ourselves - the more physical activity we do, the more points we get; the more points we get, the better the reward we can exchange for the points. For my big 100 point reward, I can turn them in for concert tickets. The idea is that I can get concert tickets for any of the bands or musicians I want, even if it's in a nearby state or not very close to our area, so we could turn it into a mini road trip. Hence, the biggest reward on my list.
But if it's motivation I'm looking for, I might have just found some for myself because I discovered tonight that Sara Bareilles is coming to Rochester! I love (most of) her music and think she is super talented. I really want to see her in concert. I've seen some YouTube videos of her live concerts, and she seems like such a great entertainer and performer. So I'm pretty excited. I'll have to work hard and be really disciplined to stay on top of my physical activity, but it's definitely a reasonable goal to reach in order to earn the rest of my 100 points. I'm so glad Nathan and I came up with a variety of ways we can earn points - I don't have to run my way to Sara Bareilles. Praise Jesus.
Showing posts with label Running. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Running. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Thursday, September 6, 2012
My hunt for a 20-mile march.
I attended a couple of conferences almost back-to-back in the middle of August. First was the Willow Creek Global Leadership Summit, and the second soon after that was the InterVarsity NY/NJ Regional Staff Conference. There were a lot of things I immediately gleaned from the prior, but it's been a bit tougher trying to figure out what I've soaked in from the latter.
And so I've been thinking about I'm the toughest person I'll ever lead, and how if I'm going to leading others on a constant basis, then I need to really learn to lead myself. And if I'm going to lead myself, I need to accumulate the discipline to really, truly pursue something. I've also been thinking about what it means to live a good story, which requires wanting something enough to overcome conflicts. The problem is, I don't know what I really want.
So maybe I should figure out what I really want first, but I can't help but think of some daily 20-mile-march ideas...
However, there was something from the staff conference that I've been thinking about recently.
If I remember correctly, Bill Sweeting, our speaker for the conference, quoted something from John C. Maxwell who said, "The toughest person to lead is always yourself" (read about it here). In the midst of a million things to do, goals to work towards, and feeling like I'm just moving backwards and will never achieve great things or simply do things I like or want to do, I recognize how incredibly undisciplined and faithless (unreliable) I am. It takes me a long time to do things, especially when it comes to processing things that feel like they're really important or are really important to me. And a lot of times in the process of pursuing those things, I end up completing the minimum to get by with what I can or it begins to look like a hanging carrot I just cannot physically reach.
It's probably why I've always felt like I never had any big dreams. Maybe the reality is I probably don't want anything bad enough to keep at it, or somehow I'm afraid of actually succeeding (isn't this sounding ridiculous and not at the same time?). Here, take a look at some of the things I could potentially pursue:
Since I was nine years old I've always wanted to write and publish a novel. It's a big dream, but not impossible. But over the years I haven't been willing to practice writing. I haven't written any short stories unless I had a deadline for a creative writing class, I haven't entered any contests, I haven't submitted any pieces for publications or just wrote some chapters or story ideas for fun. I've been limiting my writing to blog posts. I don't give my writing the time or space to grow and develop. It's like any musical pursuits (which, by the way, I also don't really work on at all) - if you want to get better, you need to practice. You need to make mistakes and learn your craft and cover the basics.
Look at my big dream to own and run a cafe/bakery/bookstore/gift shop/inn/community center combo thing. You don't see me reading books about small businesses/non-profits, baking or designing greeting cards at every opportunity I can get, or asking questions to those who may have experience in those areas. I can say, "I want to do that!" all I want, but if I don't actually put anything into motion, it's not going to happen. I don't have a lot of drive or discipline. And I'm aware of that.
But I want that to change.
During the Leadership Summit, Jim Collins gave a great talk based on his new book, Great By Choice, which addresses why some companies excel despite chaos. One of the concepts Collins focuses on is the idea of a "20-mile-march," which encompasses the evidence that successful companies "embrace a paradox of control and noncontrol." They're disciplined in their commitment (i.e., marching no more and no less than 20 miles) everyday, whether or not the circumstances are beneficial or not. Collins provides the example of Roald Amundsen and Robert Falcon Scott, two adventurers who were on the quest to be the first to reach the South Pole. While both explorers experienced the same uncontrollable climate issues, Amundsen "adhered to a regimen of consistent progress, never too far in good weather...yet pressing ahead in nasty weather to stay on pace," while Scott "would sometimes drive his team to exhaustion on good days and then sit in his tent and complain about the weather on bad days." Amundsen stuck to his 20-mile-march and successfully reached the South Pole. (Collins explains it a little better his article here)
Since I was nine years old I've always wanted to write and publish a novel. It's a big dream, but not impossible. But over the years I haven't been willing to practice writing. I haven't written any short stories unless I had a deadline for a creative writing class, I haven't entered any contests, I haven't submitted any pieces for publications or just wrote some chapters or story ideas for fun. I've been limiting my writing to blog posts. I don't give my writing the time or space to grow and develop. It's like any musical pursuits (which, by the way, I also don't really work on at all) - if you want to get better, you need to practice. You need to make mistakes and learn your craft and cover the basics.
Look at my big dream to own and run a cafe/bakery/bookstore/gift shop/inn/community center combo thing. You don't see me reading books about small businesses/non-profits, baking or designing greeting cards at every opportunity I can get, or asking questions to those who may have experience in those areas. I can say, "I want to do that!" all I want, but if I don't actually put anything into motion, it's not going to happen. I don't have a lot of drive or discipline. And I'm aware of that.
But I want that to change.
During the Leadership Summit, Jim Collins gave a great talk based on his new book, Great By Choice, which addresses why some companies excel despite chaos. One of the concepts Collins focuses on is the idea of a "20-mile-march," which encompasses the evidence that successful companies "embrace a paradox of control and noncontrol." They're disciplined in their commitment (i.e., marching no more and no less than 20 miles) everyday, whether or not the circumstances are beneficial or not. Collins provides the example of Roald Amundsen and Robert Falcon Scott, two adventurers who were on the quest to be the first to reach the South Pole. While both explorers experienced the same uncontrollable climate issues, Amundsen "adhered to a regimen of consistent progress, never too far in good weather...yet pressing ahead in nasty weather to stay on pace," while Scott "would sometimes drive his team to exhaustion on good days and then sit in his tent and complain about the weather on bad days." Amundsen stuck to his 20-mile-march and successfully reached the South Pole. (Collins explains it a little better his article here)
And so I've been thinking about I'm the toughest person I'll ever lead, and how if I'm going to leading others on a constant basis, then I need to really learn to lead myself. And if I'm going to lead myself, I need to accumulate the discipline to really, truly pursue something. I've also been thinking about what it means to live a good story, which requires wanting something enough to overcome conflicts. The problem is, I don't know what I really want.
So maybe I should figure out what I really want first, but I can't help but think of some daily 20-mile-march ideas...
- Write one blog post.
- Memorize one Bible verse.
- Practice guitar/singing for 30 minutes.
- Read a novel for 30 minutes.
- Run x miles (every week?)
- Bake something (every week?)
- Read 5 news articles.
- Write and mail a letter to someone.
I would say, "Feel free to pipe in with your vote/opinion on which one I should pursue or suggest your own," but I guess that's going in the opposite direction of trying to figure out what I want.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Houses in Binghamton.
First of all, I have to tell you - I went running in the morning...twice this week. Crazy, I know. Now, granted, both runs were not very far and it weren't for very long, but it's pretty significant. In case you haven't been following my blog for very long or never stalked any of my posts from previous years, I normally don't enjoy running...at all. And this week was no exception. But the weather has been perking up ever since I returned from California, and for the past few months (with a number of fast-paced walking excursion exceptions) I've been making excuses like, "It's too cold outside," to justify why I decided to stay inside rather than do some cardio. So I don't really have that as an excuse anymore, and I really do want to get some more exercise. And I want to finally get my behavior to match my head that knows it's actually something I need, not just something I should want, especially with my high cholesterol.
I just wanted to tell someone I went running because even though it's not really Oscar-worthy to most people, it's pretty important to me and I'm going to pretend that you're all mentally encouraging me to keep going because I can do it and maybe one day I'll knock, "Run a 5K race" or "Run a 10K race" off of my bucket list (I know, they're actually not that big of an accomplishment to some, but again, this is me we're talking about).
But I digress. I actually prefaced this post with me running because I wanted to talk about the houses I see when I run or walk around the neighborhood. It's something I really appreciate about my neighborhood - all the houses are so different from each other. In NYC a lot of the houses look the same or have the same style or are renovated to look like all the other same fancy houses or just oddly stick out that make all the other houses subtly say, "We're not worthy." It's kind of bleh.
But I love looking at houses in smaller towns or areas like Binghamton because each house is pretty different from the one next to it, not just by street or area. A lot of them seem a little rustic or run down, but sturdy and homey. I know this sounds cliche, but I feel like they've got a deeper sense of character than a lot of houses I've seen in NYC. And I like that.
Have you ever looked at a house (or car, even) and tried to imagine who lives there and what their life stories are like? It's something I did all the time when I was little and when I'm not the driver I still do it to this day. It's really fun. If you haven't done it before, try it the next time you're on a bus or are a passenger in a car. What makes it interesting is that even though the things you may see around the house sometimes give hints to the people living inside (e.g. pets, welcome mats, eclectic lawn gnomes, extremely neatly cut green lawns, funky mailboxes), the truth is that what is portrayed on the outside of the house doesn't always reflect what's going on inside of the house. Don't forget that the responses to conflicts and the development of different relationships are what really makes a story unique and interesting.
That's why it's such an interesting and unique experience to imagine what the stories of people's lives are. But after you've tried that for a couple of houses a few different times, try advancing to the next level (ha - as if this was a game or contest) and imagine how one house interacts or thinks of another one just down the street that's really different. How do the people living in the run down, bright, sea green house interact with the people living in the expensive looking, neat, two-story house? Is there a sense of hostility? Jealousy? Camaraderie? Superficial, too-polite-it's-disgusting kind of relationships? In the stories you're imagining, what if those things changed? What would change them? What would be an development that we wouldn't expect?
Ah, so much fun. Mmm...makes me want to try my hand at a couple of short stories. My dad asked me this weekend if I was going to write some stories soon or work on writing/publishing a book like I've always wanted to do since I was 9 years old, and I realized that I haven't written - or even thought of writing - any stories in a couple of years. It makes me sad to think about how I've diminished my story writing over the years into "silly ideas."
I just wanted to tell someone I went running because even though it's not really Oscar-worthy to most people, it's pretty important to me and I'm going to pretend that you're all mentally encouraging me to keep going because I can do it and maybe one day I'll knock, "Run a 5K race" or "Run a 10K race" off of my bucket list (I know, they're actually not that big of an accomplishment to some, but again, this is me we're talking about).
But I digress. I actually prefaced this post with me running because I wanted to talk about the houses I see when I run or walk around the neighborhood. It's something I really appreciate about my neighborhood - all the houses are so different from each other. In NYC a lot of the houses look the same or have the same style or are renovated to look like all the other same fancy houses or just oddly stick out that make all the other houses subtly say, "We're not worthy." It's kind of bleh.
But I love looking at houses in smaller towns or areas like Binghamton because each house is pretty different from the one next to it, not just by street or area. A lot of them seem a little rustic or run down, but sturdy and homey. I know this sounds cliche, but I feel like they've got a deeper sense of character than a lot of houses I've seen in NYC. And I like that.
Have you ever looked at a house (or car, even) and tried to imagine who lives there and what their life stories are like? It's something I did all the time when I was little and when I'm not the driver I still do it to this day. It's really fun. If you haven't done it before, try it the next time you're on a bus or are a passenger in a car. What makes it interesting is that even though the things you may see around the house sometimes give hints to the people living inside (e.g. pets, welcome mats, eclectic lawn gnomes, extremely neatly cut green lawns, funky mailboxes), the truth is that what is portrayed on the outside of the house doesn't always reflect what's going on inside of the house. Don't forget that the responses to conflicts and the development of different relationships are what really makes a story unique and interesting.
That's why it's such an interesting and unique experience to imagine what the stories of people's lives are. But after you've tried that for a couple of houses a few different times, try advancing to the next level (ha - as if this was a game or contest) and imagine how one house interacts or thinks of another one just down the street that's really different. How do the people living in the run down, bright, sea green house interact with the people living in the expensive looking, neat, two-story house? Is there a sense of hostility? Jealousy? Camaraderie? Superficial, too-polite-it's-disgusting kind of relationships? In the stories you're imagining, what if those things changed? What would change them? What would be an development that we wouldn't expect?
Ah, so much fun. Mmm...makes me want to try my hand at a couple of short stories. My dad asked me this weekend if I was going to write some stories soon or work on writing/publishing a book like I've always wanted to do since I was 9 years old, and I realized that I haven't written - or even thought of writing - any stories in a couple of years. It makes me sad to think about how I've diminished my story writing over the years into "silly ideas."
Saturday, June 14, 2008
i suck at running. i'm 100x worse in this heat.
i keep telling myself i'm not a failure,
that i haven't failed as a friend, a sister, a daughter,
as a human walking on this earth under God's purposes.
but i am.
i ran today, and couldn't keep going after a little over a mile. i had to stop.
i've never stopped before. not unfinished. i always stopped when i was supposed to, never less.
but i did, and it just reminded me of all things i've failed to do this past year, the things i've been failing at this summer, things that i've been aware of but haven't really done anything enough.
i can't breathe in this heat.
you know, people think i'm a hardworker. i'm really not. at least, not always. now pam, she's a true hardworker, all the time, in all areas of her life. me, i'm not. i was a hardworker before college. i pushed myself in EVERYTHING i did. and i got tired. i got broken. i pushed too hard.
i came into college wanting to be fed. i was hungry and thirsty, dying to be cared for and nourished and loved. and i found it.
and now, look what i've turned myself into. i've become lazy, and don't strive as hard as i used to, and now at the expense of my relationships with others. i've spoiled myself. become selfish.
what happened to my selflessness? what happened to my eager desire to fulfill others' needs, make others happy, encourage, and give give give?
God has been showing me so many signs of my neglect to do so. my idle hands and lazy spirit. He's been showing me through big things and little things. i didn't realize until now. He's showing me i need to change.
i've made myself a failure only because i haven't been trying.
don't try to tell me i'm not a failure. please don't ask me if i'm okay next time you see me. i'm fine. more like, too fine. i need to find a better balance among things.
i need to move on. i need to move forward. oh heck, i just need to MOVE.
you can't ask if i'm okay next time you see me, but you can ask me what i'm talking about.
that i haven't failed as a friend, a sister, a daughter,
as a human walking on this earth under God's purposes.
but i am.
i ran today, and couldn't keep going after a little over a mile. i had to stop.
i've never stopped before. not unfinished. i always stopped when i was supposed to, never less.
but i did, and it just reminded me of all things i've failed to do this past year, the things i've been failing at this summer, things that i've been aware of but haven't really done anything enough.
i can't breathe in this heat.
you know, people think i'm a hardworker. i'm really not. at least, not always. now pam, she's a true hardworker, all the time, in all areas of her life. me, i'm not. i was a hardworker before college. i pushed myself in EVERYTHING i did. and i got tired. i got broken. i pushed too hard.
i came into college wanting to be fed. i was hungry and thirsty, dying to be cared for and nourished and loved. and i found it.
and now, look what i've turned myself into. i've become lazy, and don't strive as hard as i used to, and now at the expense of my relationships with others. i've spoiled myself. become selfish.
what happened to my selflessness? what happened to my eager desire to fulfill others' needs, make others happy, encourage, and give give give?
God has been showing me so many signs of my neglect to do so. my idle hands and lazy spirit. He's been showing me through big things and little things. i didn't realize until now. He's showing me i need to change.
i've made myself a failure only because i haven't been trying.
don't try to tell me i'm not a failure. please don't ask me if i'm okay next time you see me. i'm fine. more like, too fine. i need to find a better balance among things.
i need to move on. i need to move forward. oh heck, i just need to MOVE.
you can't ask if i'm okay next time you see me, but you can ask me what i'm talking about.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
a great start for spring break :D
these past few days have been pretty awesome.
i stayed over at josh's place with a bunch of people and we had fun playing balderdash all the way up until 3:30 am, with me falling asleep later than that because steve's feet spaz occassionally, and he snores sometimes, and eddie's hamster is nocturnal apparently and likes to run around in her cage at the wee hours of the morning.
then of course we all depart, and i stay awake with josh for the whole ride again (it's just what i do now), and it was interesting having steve join our little party. we dropped him off @ his mom's place in white plains, and then crossed back over the river to drop off michelle (whom i did NOT want to depart from) and then had perfect timing reaching josh's house just as my dad pulled in to pick us up.
auntie yan (josh's mom) is the bestest godmother anyone could have. as soon as she saw me she said, "i didn't even know you were coming, but you must've smelled it," and of course i have NO idea what she's talking about, until she brings me to the kitchen, pulls out a shop rite fresh bake shop bag and puts two pistachio muffins in there and hands it to me. she always gets them for me because she knows i love them :P oh man she rocks.
it was so nice to come home.
and today, our family had to go to a couple of cemeteries for ching-ming, which made me zombie-like on the car rides, but it wasn't too bad. we ate dim sum with grandma in elmhurst @ east buffet which was really yummy because i really really missed eating siu-mai! sighhh. so good.
then dad dropped pam and me off in flushing where we saw brendon crossing the street. pam called him and pretended we got snowed in and just got home this morning. that was pretty funny. we went to get our hair cut, but it was pretty full so we had to wait a bit. but it wasn't too bad.
i was REALLY excited to get my hair cut. like really really. i love my hair, but the front was really bothering me. it just wasn't what i wanted. so pretty much i look the same, except my bangs are a little shorter. my hair wasn't even layered as much as i'd like, but i was really really happy with my hair. so basically i got a trim. i thought it was going to be a more drastic change, but this is good. i didn't really want a drastic change, especially a bad one.
oh, okay, so i was a little worried because you know the day you get your hair cut it's NEVER the same after you get home and wash it and whatever, but i really enjoyed it while it lasted. i didn't HAVE to wash it because technically it was washed, BUT i did something so out of character today that forced me to...
i went running.
i KNOW. big shocker, right? me, the person who absolutely despises running, did it today. and not just for five minutes. i KNOW. jeez. but wait, let's back up.
after pam & i got our hair cuts, libby met us in flushing, and so did dan, and the four of us went to sago to get some drinks and a snack to hang out. it was really fun, i'm glad we did it. then we were talking about my short stories and this aloe vera drink that dan said was really good, so we decided to spontaneously buy a bottle of aloe vera, bring it back to our house, and have a short story reading. i only got to read one of my stories because dan had to get home for dinner, but it was still fun.
okay, now after dan took libby home, pam said she was going to go running for ten or fifteen minutes, then we could watch an episode of wildfire if we had time before dinner. now of course, pam does this often and it's obvious that i loathe running so much, so why would she ask me if i wanted to go too? so as i was settling onto the couch with my laptop until i started thinking about what i was going to do now. umm...nothing. and then i was like, man alive i haven't exercised in so long. and that football game on thursday really made me sore - thus reminding me that i was extremely out of shape. so i was sitting there, and then suddenly i got up and told pam i wanted to go with her.
of course, she was in utter shock but welcomed me to join her. and of course, i don't have running shoes, so i had to wear my suede champion ones, but whatever. we had a good run. we talked as we ran, which kept my mind off of the actual running, and then when we stopped running, we realized we had run for 30 minutes! CRAZY. i've never run for that long in my entire life.
but it was a good run. pam and i had a good talk. we talked through everything that was going on in our lives and between us, and i think things are smoothed over for real now. it was nice :]
i think i might actually not mind running now -- but only with pam :P
and thus, because i went running, i had to take a shower and mess up my poor lovely hair. it was the moment of truth. i knew it had to come sooner or later. so i did, and when i air-dried it (as i normally do - i try to avoid blow-drying as much as possible because it really damages hair), my bangs came out all puffy and fluffy, and my hair was frizzy and a little wavy and totally disappointing...
but, now comes to the reason why i'm blogging at this moment in the first place: i plugged in my straightener and am waiting for it to heat up to try and save my beloved hair.
so as i wait, i'll talk about a few random things:
i totally should've brought my black flats home from school. i left them there and took my beige slip-ons instead because i thought i wouldn't need them and i didn't feel like squishing stuff into my bag, so i left them at school. boy do i regret that. i realize that tomorrow is easter and i totally would love to wear a skirt, but now i don't have shoes to wear :[ my beige shoes aren't dressy enough, so it would look funny. AND, in addition to that, i can't find my open-toe strappy shoes to wear instead, so i don't know what i'm going to do! i know it sounds silly, but i really like to dress up, especially for easter, for God, even though the rest of my church doesn't really follow suit sometimes. i don't mind being different. i don't do it for other people. but if i don't have shoes, then it's not going to work.
sigh. i'll try looking for my strappy shoes again and if i don't, i'll have to make my beige shoes work somehow -_-
well, the straightener is ready. here goes nothing!
oh, and i realize i totally should've taken a picture with pam before we got our hair cut and before we showered because we both trimmed a little more hair ourselves, so it would show a "before-and-after" kind of thing, but it's too late for that now. oh well.
man i feel like my hair is cooperating. i haven't looked in a mirror yet, so i'm gonna go do that now.
sorry for the pointlessly long blog. i was just rambling to share my random, boring thoughts.
all in all, it's been a GREAT beginning of spring break, and i'm really looking forward to the rest of it :D
i stayed over at josh's place with a bunch of people and we had fun playing balderdash all the way up until 3:30 am, with me falling asleep later than that because steve's feet spaz occassionally, and he snores sometimes, and eddie's hamster is nocturnal apparently and likes to run around in her cage at the wee hours of the morning.
then of course we all depart, and i stay awake with josh for the whole ride again (it's just what i do now), and it was interesting having steve join our little party. we dropped him off @ his mom's place in white plains, and then crossed back over the river to drop off michelle (whom i did NOT want to depart from) and then had perfect timing reaching josh's house just as my dad pulled in to pick us up.
auntie yan (josh's mom) is the bestest godmother anyone could have. as soon as she saw me she said, "i didn't even know you were coming, but you must've smelled it," and of course i have NO idea what she's talking about, until she brings me to the kitchen, pulls out a shop rite fresh bake shop bag and puts two pistachio muffins in there and hands it to me. she always gets them for me because she knows i love them :P oh man she rocks.
it was so nice to come home.
and today, our family had to go to a couple of cemeteries for ching-ming, which made me zombie-like on the car rides, but it wasn't too bad. we ate dim sum with grandma in elmhurst @ east buffet which was really yummy because i really really missed eating siu-mai! sighhh. so good.
then dad dropped pam and me off in flushing where we saw brendon crossing the street. pam called him and pretended we got snowed in and just got home this morning. that was pretty funny. we went to get our hair cut, but it was pretty full so we had to wait a bit. but it wasn't too bad.
i was REALLY excited to get my hair cut. like really really. i love my hair, but the front was really bothering me. it just wasn't what i wanted. so pretty much i look the same, except my bangs are a little shorter. my hair wasn't even layered as much as i'd like, but i was really really happy with my hair. so basically i got a trim. i thought it was going to be a more drastic change, but this is good. i didn't really want a drastic change, especially a bad one.
oh, okay, so i was a little worried because you know the day you get your hair cut it's NEVER the same after you get home and wash it and whatever, but i really enjoyed it while it lasted. i didn't HAVE to wash it because technically it was washed, BUT i did something so out of character today that forced me to...
i went running.
i KNOW. big shocker, right? me, the person who absolutely despises running, did it today. and not just for five minutes. i KNOW. jeez. but wait, let's back up.
after pam & i got our hair cuts, libby met us in flushing, and so did dan, and the four of us went to sago to get some drinks and a snack to hang out. it was really fun, i'm glad we did it. then we were talking about my short stories and this aloe vera drink that dan said was really good, so we decided to spontaneously buy a bottle of aloe vera, bring it back to our house, and have a short story reading. i only got to read one of my stories because dan had to get home for dinner, but it was still fun.
okay, now after dan took libby home, pam said she was going to go running for ten or fifteen minutes, then we could watch an episode of wildfire if we had time before dinner. now of course, pam does this often and it's obvious that i loathe running so much, so why would she ask me if i wanted to go too? so as i was settling onto the couch with my laptop until i started thinking about what i was going to do now. umm...nothing. and then i was like, man alive i haven't exercised in so long. and that football game on thursday really made me sore - thus reminding me that i was extremely out of shape. so i was sitting there, and then suddenly i got up and told pam i wanted to go with her.
of course, she was in utter shock but welcomed me to join her. and of course, i don't have running shoes, so i had to wear my suede champion ones, but whatever. we had a good run. we talked as we ran, which kept my mind off of the actual running, and then when we stopped running, we realized we had run for 30 minutes! CRAZY. i've never run for that long in my entire life.
but it was a good run. pam and i had a good talk. we talked through everything that was going on in our lives and between us, and i think things are smoothed over for real now. it was nice :]
i think i might actually not mind running now -- but only with pam :P
and thus, because i went running, i had to take a shower and mess up my poor lovely hair. it was the moment of truth. i knew it had to come sooner or later. so i did, and when i air-dried it (as i normally do - i try to avoid blow-drying as much as possible because it really damages hair), my bangs came out all puffy and fluffy, and my hair was frizzy and a little wavy and totally disappointing...
but, now comes to the reason why i'm blogging at this moment in the first place: i plugged in my straightener and am waiting for it to heat up to try and save my beloved hair.
so as i wait, i'll talk about a few random things:
i totally should've brought my black flats home from school. i left them there and took my beige slip-ons instead because i thought i wouldn't need them and i didn't feel like squishing stuff into my bag, so i left them at school. boy do i regret that. i realize that tomorrow is easter and i totally would love to wear a skirt, but now i don't have shoes to wear :[ my beige shoes aren't dressy enough, so it would look funny. AND, in addition to that, i can't find my open-toe strappy shoes to wear instead, so i don't know what i'm going to do! i know it sounds silly, but i really like to dress up, especially for easter, for God, even though the rest of my church doesn't really follow suit sometimes. i don't mind being different. i don't do it for other people. but if i don't have shoes, then it's not going to work.
sigh. i'll try looking for my strappy shoes again and if i don't, i'll have to make my beige shoes work somehow -_-
well, the straightener is ready. here goes nothing!
oh, and i realize i totally should've taken a picture with pam before we got our hair cut and before we showered because we both trimmed a little more hair ourselves, so it would show a "before-and-after" kind of thing, but it's too late for that now. oh well.
man i feel like my hair is cooperating. i haven't looked in a mirror yet, so i'm gonna go do that now.
sorry for the pointlessly long blog. i was just rambling to share my random, boring thoughts.
all in all, it's been a GREAT beginning of spring break, and i'm really looking forward to the rest of it :D
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