The new Mrs. Bixler.

I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore.

It's been a whirlwind of transitions over this past year, and even though it seems like the tornado has finally flung me to the ground, I'm still feeling the dizzying affects from the ride.  And I don't think it's the kind that will go away in a few minutes once I get my balance again.

The world keeps spinning and life keeps moving, and the treadmill of time doesn't stop for anyone.

People kept asking me after the ceremony and during the reception what it feels like to be married, and honestly, it feels the same way it feels like when you're celebrating your birthday...not all that different.  Well, until you get your driver's permit, or you drink your first alcoholic drink.  Or you feel an ache in your back that just doesn't seem to go away.  Or maybe you start getting sleepy at 9:40 pm like clockwork every night when you used to stay up until 2 in the morning so easily just a few years ago in college.  Sometimes it doesn't really sink in as to how you're getting older until it hits you in those small moments.

It's those ripples that remind you of the evidence that something had dropped into your undisturbed ecosystem of pond life.

Like waking up in the morning only to find you're not alone.  Or not really knowing what to do to "get back into the swing of things" because your normal routine didn't have to include a skinny, 6-foot-3, 22-year-old who writes emails, checks nerdy websites and Facebook, reads a bajillion articles and gets five times more things done all before you woke up at 7 or 8 am.  Or having to discuss whether you should organize your 25 boxes of books on the shelves by authors' last names or by genre, and if by genre, how many sub-genres you wanted to break it down by because you can no longer sort them by the books you've read and the books you haven't read yet.

Yesterday I told my dad he needed to look out for our marriage certificate because we accidentally sent it there instead of our apartment, and he told me, by the way, that he and my family were going on vacation with my cousins and aunt and uncle for the next few days, so if I needed them and called home, they won't be home.

That ripple was a little stronger than I anticipated.  My family was going on our traditional annual vacation and they were going without me.  I don't think I would have even known about it until after the fact if I hadn't emailed my dad.  Talk about marriage becoming a reality.

Of course, it didn't help that my sister called me out of the blue for a silly favor and sounded like she and my family were having such a grand ol' time in the background.  It was a classic tv series moment.  I had a bad case of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) after that.

Like I said, it's sometimes the small ripples that seem to make the rubber meet the road, not this sudden revelation of reality like someone had clubbed you with a bag of bricks.  I'm not bitter or wishing things were different.  It's just me coming to grips, that's all.

Marriage so far is just what I sort of anticipated so far - not very glamorous or easy, but a learning process that has its pretty sweet aspects and moments, too.  I've been blessed with a good husband and I'm excited about the wonderful story we're writing together simply by being each other's partners and companions and living out our lives as best as we can in following and obeying the Lord.

I may not be in Kansas anymore, but this world is suddenly more colorful, and I'm taking a deep breath as I explore these new hues and shades.  And maybe I'll let a grin emerge on my face along the way.