Moving out of Section A and into Section B.

Maybe this is what it feels like to be transfer student.  You're in a new town and a new school, but you're not a freshman, so even though you don't have a clue as to where things are or what the heck you should be doing, people kind of assume that you do.  You're not a freshman, so even though you don't have a clue, you don't have hundreds of other people around you who also don't have a clue that you can instantly bond and become friends with over the fact that you don't have a clue and can be comforted in having those new friends who are alongside of you for the journey of figuring it all out.  You're a transfer student.  You want friends.  But they don't come easy because people have already made their friends and no one's really looking for any new ones.  You're not a freshman and you're a transfer student without a clue and without any friends, so you get lost.  You get lost and yet people ask you for directions, expecting you to have the answers, but you just don't know anything.  Because you're a transfer student, you kind of get the gist of what college life is like, but because you're in a new context the college life takes a different shape that you're not quite familiar with.

I haven't been able to put my finger on how I've been feeling over this summer or just within these past few weeks.  It all feels the same but it all feels different.  I feel lonely, but not really.  I feel unsettled, but not really.  I feel sad, but I don't know what about and I don't know why.  Just a few days or maybe a week ago  I said I was happy, but knew the fair-weather feeling wouldn't be around long.  Well, the time has come.  Good ol' happiness has left the building.

It's the part of the story where the main character doesn't quite know how they got here.

Bill Hybels always describes a leader as someone who moves others from "here" (i.e. the current state) to "there" (i.e. the reality of the vision).  Here's something he brought up at the Willow Creek Global Leadership Summit.  Let's say this diagram describes that process of going from "here" to "there":

Here -------------------------------------------------------------------There

Now, let me ask you a question:  If we were to divide this process into three sections, at which section do you think the vision is most vulnerable?

[Here -------------------][-------------------------][-----------------------There]

                 A                                      B                                         C

Would you say it's A, B, or C?

The people around me thought it was C.  My gut instinct was B, but then I was succumbed to "groupthink" and thought it was C.

The answer?  Section B.  Section B is where the vision is most vulnerable.  The reason?  Well, according to Bill Hybels, for Section A, the vision is strong.  You're pumped up, you're excited, you're on fire and ready to do anything and go anywhere right out of the gate.  The vision has successfully energized you into action.  For Section C, you're so close to the vision becoming a reality that it fires you back up.  You make the last push.  You endure through whatever's going on now because you can see the end.  You're so close, you can almost taste the victory.

For Section B, however, neither the beginning nor the end are in sight.  Bill Hybels says that Section B is where you realize you're not invincible but neither can you see the end.  The initial high spirits and excitement has died down; your weaknesses, flaws, and lack of control rise to the surface tenfold; and success is not even on your radar.  No wonder why the vision is most vulnerable there.

So I maybe my life right now feels like a transfer student who also may not be quite in the depths of Section B, but have definitively moved very far away from, "here."  I want to live a good story, but I don't know what I want.  I want to live a good story, but I also need to work with what I've been given.

I guess it means I've got to cast vision to myself again.  I've got to find ways to keep the vision alive.  And maybe that means I need to dream a little. And then maybe flesh out those dreams a little more.  Then maybe all of these piles and piles of goals and strategies and plans and action steps will make a little more sense and become a little clearer so I can chuck the ones that don't fit right now.