i refuse to believe in your lie and choose to believe in the truth.

you say you're persevering. and that's true, love perseveres.
but that's not all 1 corinthians 13 says about love.

love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily-angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always perseveres.
love never fails. but where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. for we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. when i was a child, i talked like a child, i thought like a child, i reasoned like a child. when i became a man, i put childish ways behind me. now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. now i know in part; then i shall know fully, even as i am fully known.
and now these three remain: faith, hope and love. but the greatest of these is love.

remember all of that? remember what we memorized together? love is ALL of those things, not just perseverance.

i've been learning what it means to truly love - to give everything i've got for the higher good of another, NO MATTER what the cost is to me. even if i receive NOTHING - no acknowledgement, no recognition, no appreciation, no comment, NOTHING - in return. i refuse to believe that we're supposed to just accept the way people are and stop giving all we've got to them, to let things settle. God does not do that for us. Jesus did not do that while He was here on this earth, and the Holy Spirit does not do that while He lives in our hearts and works through our lives. He is constantly pouring out Himself to us, pouring out His grace, mercy, and most important of all, love. and what do we have to give and offer to Him that comes even remotely close to the things He pours out to us? our few talents? our measely lives? He's the one who GIVES life. we have nothing to offer that would come close to comparison of what He gives us.

i know you think i'm young and you think i'm coming from a mountaintop of passion and happiness, and you say sometimes we have to come down from that mountain and face the valley of reality, but who says we can't bring that passion to the valleys of life? aren't we supposed to? isn't that how we don't let spiritual highs get the best of us? isn't that how we bring life to the valley? otherwise what's the point of passion? our own selfishness? to make us feel good? no! i believe our passion should be bubbling up so much inside of us that it spills over to everyone's lives that cross paths with ours.

i get that you're tired. it's been many, many, years. you've put up with a lot. i know you've tried, and tried, and tried. but that doesn't mean you give up now. i refuse to give up on true love, not in the boyfriend-girlfriend/husband-wife "true love," but the true love Christ exemplified for us. love is my hope in Christ. because Christ loved me first, because He never gave up on me, because i know and believe He wants my highest good no matter what it cost Him, i know i can love others. i may not love the way He does completely now, but i know what His love looks like, and i sure am going to strive to do the same for others.

and it's because of His love for me that i can stand here and still love you, despite your hurtful, hopeless words.