it freaks me out if i don't get some time to spend by myself.
in fact, i think it's detrimental to those around me and i'm sorry. i know it's got to stop.
last week i went crazy because i didn't deal with the amount of things i had to do appropriately, and all my time that i spend at night unwinding was spent otherwise because of unplanned events. as a result, most of the built up, pent up energy was stored like a balloon and leaked out in little holes that were penetrated.
instead of retaliating kindness i retaliated selfishness.
it looked a lot like complaining and whining, and harbored bitterness.
i was feeling disregarded (not unappreciated) for the kind of effort i put into my work. i wanted respect, not recognition, for the things i was doing. i couldn't move forward because of lack of cooperation from others. i was frustrated because i felt like i was repeating high school history with my experiences this semester, even though i had told myself after high school that i wouldn't want to fall into this trap again. i wanted things to be perfect. i wanted to get things done early so they wouldn't bog me down later. i wanted to do well in school this semester. i wanted things to go just the way i had planned. i wanted people to understand the decisions i had to make.
let's play a game: can you count how many "i's" there are in the paragraph stated above?
answer: too many.
selfishness overtook my heart and i let it.last week i went crazy because i didn't deal with the amount of things i had to do appropriately, and all my time that i spend at night unwinding was spent otherwise because of unplanned events. as a result, most of the built up, pent up energy was stored like a balloon and leaked out in little holes that were penetrated.
instead of retaliating kindness i retaliated selfishness.
it looked a lot like complaining and whining, and harbored bitterness.
i was feeling disregarded (not unappreciated) for the kind of effort i put into my work. i wanted respect, not recognition, for the things i was doing. i couldn't move forward because of lack of cooperation from others. i was frustrated because i felt like i was repeating high school history with my experiences this semester, even though i had told myself after high school that i wouldn't want to fall into this trap again. i wanted things to be perfect. i wanted to get things done early so they wouldn't bog me down later. i wanted to do well in school this semester. i wanted things to go just the way i had planned. i wanted people to understand the decisions i had to make.
let's play a game: can you count how many "i's" there are in the paragraph stated above?
answer: too many.
i hope you'll all forgive me.
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