Kids are my favorite teachers.

I haven't posted anything in a week. Half of that reason was because I was out a lot this week and didn't have time or was too tired, and the other half of that reason is because I just had too much to say about too many things, and some just didn't seem appropriate for my blog. I can't tell you everything about my life, you know.

There were a lot of things I wanted to write for this blog, but I think this one will help encompass a few significant things.

Pam taught the middle school Sunday school class today, and it was funny because her approach looked very similar to my approach when I was teaching the middlers at Twin Orchards. I taught twice, and wanted to use the beginning of the first one to just get to know the kids - their names, how they behave around each other, how they behave with a teacher, etc. And to let them know that they could trust you.

Me: Did you have them sit in a circle?
Pam: Yup.
Me: Me too! Did you sit in the circle with them?
Pam: Yup!
Me: Me too!

Since my class was a bigger range of ages, I spent my entire first class playing a get to know you game because their attention spans were really short. Pam had an older group, and she took a good approach of bringing in her old yearbooks so that they could get to know who she was and that the kids could identify with her - that she was once in their place. Smart move. I might steal that idea one day.

Pam: I wanted to just talk with them and get to know them before I taught them any kind of lesson.
Me: Me too! I wanted to do that when I taught at Twin. Congratulations, you're the new cool teacher. Doesn't it feel great? I'm so proud of you!

It made me happy because I love being around kids. I could play with them, carry them, talk with them (well, some of them), take care of them, and just observe them sometimes. It's great - I don't even mind the chaos or the crying. Crying kids don't really faze me.

Something I love, though, about hanging out with kids is that they humble me. They ask the hard questions that no one else wants to talk about, and they're often better listeners - they can often pick up on both verbal and body language better than a lot of adults.

They're always in a posture of learning.

Even when they complain about school, or get upset or don't seem to care - they're always learning something. They may not be aware of it, but they are.

And I appreciate and value being in a constant posture of learning in all kinds of relationships - especially in the unexpected, inverted ones: teachers learning from students, rich people learning from the poor, parents learning from their children, etc. I strongly believe we always have much to learn, no matter how much you think you know someone or something.

It's humbling to put yourself in a posture where you are convinced that you can learn something from the people you expect to learn nothing from, or the people you think you know everything about. By doing so you're acknowledging that the other person has something to offer you and that you're willing to open your hand to receive it.

Listening is so much more than just hearing words come out of someone's mouth.

I think it's dangerous for our relationships when we think we know everything about someone. We start getting needy and selfish, saying, "Hey, that person's not making me happy anymore. This person's not doing what they used to do for me all the time." And then when they do something wrong or something that confirms what you assumed would happen, we say, "AHA. You see? You see how that person didn't do this? You see how this person hurt me?"

Pride.

Pride stops the growing process. Pride puts ourselves before the other person. Pride makes us think we have all the answers and that everyone else has nothing better to offer.

It's easier for pride to choke us when we've had a relationship with someone for a long period of time - we assume because we've got the years under our belt, we know each other completely. We think we don't need to learn anymore about them.

But if we're constantly changing because of everything around us - events, decisions, people, speeches, media, and the list could go on - then we're not always the same person we were yesterday, even if it looks like nothing about us has changed at all. Sometimes the habits, actions, and decisions don't change - but the mentality behind them do.

But the only way to know any of this is by taking on this posture of learning.

Kids don't just learn in school. And they don't learn just by being talked at or told what to do. They learn by asking questions, doing things with their own hands and feet, observing what you do or don't do when they cry, yell, or laugh. And they repeat these things in different situations to see what works and what doesn't work because their environment is always changing, always new to them.

But as we get older, things tend to look same old, same old. People's character tends to look the same way to us the way they've always been, and we assume that because it's been that way for so long, there's no room for change. We stop growing. Everything's a routine. It's too inconvenient or uncomfortable to try to change. It's easier to just accept what it is and move on by ourselves.

Can you imagine how different all of our relationships would look if we constantly viewed each person as someone who's constantly changing, constantly having something to offer us? We just might find that what they have to offer is better than what we have to give.