Alias (Part One)

There are a lot of reasons why I love the tv show Alias. The series ended several years ago, but it lasted a good (or mostly good - spy shows can sometimes go a little too far overboard into cheesy or unrealistic...you know) five seasons before going off the air.

Pam and I have been watching through the series every time I come home for break from school, and last Saturday we were able to have a mini marathon to finish the rest of the final season before I went back to school. It was really fun, but unfortunately I think I got a headache from watching all those episodes (no kidding, I did stare at a tv screen for 4 or 5 hours straight - yikes).

After we ended the series, though, it made me think about all the reasons why I liked the show. Of course, good shows always have a combination of good attributes, and this one had them - a great cast, complementary original soundtrack, intricate but (mostly) plausible plotline, etc. - but one of the main things I enjoyed was how they crafted characters so well and how I could identify with them.

There's this pivotal scene in an ice cave where Sloane tells Sydney something about her childhood:
Sloane: Remember when you were a little girl and you came to live with Emily and me?
Sydney: I try not to dwell on it.
Sloane: Sydney, you were so withdrawn. Of course, we understood: you had just lost your mother and father was taken into custody. You remember? We tried to reach out, but there was a time where that was impossible. So we lined the shelves of your room - all of them - with stuffed animals, hoping that that would comfort you. Every morning I would come into your room to wake you up, and there they were - buried underneath your blanket. You said there was a storm in the middle of the night it knocked them over - they were drowning. So one by one you rescued them. And then I wondered when you would learn...you can't rescue everyone.

You can't rescue everyone. It felt like he was talking directly to me.

It struck a particular chord in me. Of course, Sloane is a creepy character and I really like Sydney Bristow, but it's chilling that he said that because he's right. And you never want the bad guy to be right.
And it kills me inside because I want to rescue everyone and I know I can't, but at the same time that doesn't mean don't try to help anyone at all. But then I think to myself - who am I to choose who to help? Or how? Where do you draw the line? And even though I know I can't help everyone, why do I still always feel like a failure?