I won't let deep waters stop me.

I don't understand a lot of things.
But I'm willing to learn. I'm willing to trust Him.

But with little time to breathe I'm swimming my hardest on God's strength through this deep end of the ocean.
I'm swimming in deep waters which I hate, but know it happens.
My limbs are weakening but I push forward.
I can see the surface, so I'm going to swim as if I'm already breaking through, breathing the fresh air like I've never breathed before.

I'm still in deep waters even though I'm aware that I am and am trying to get out.
Being aware doesn't make things easier.
It's not in my control.
None of it is.
I know because saying something doesn't make a difference.
Defending myself does nothing.
They don't know what God knows.
All I can do is do my best to obey His voice.
I won't let my people-pleasing side get the best of me.

But even then when I think I am hearing His voice, I am deceived.

It may feel like swimming with balls and chains, hopeless and pointless,
But I know that hope never ceases.
Though I may feel deceived, He will not let me drown.
His truth will set me free.

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimmming.