Digging.

I just keep digging myself a nice big hole, don't I?
I dig it all out, call it dirt, throw it back in to fill the hole, only to jump right back in to dig it all out again.
Apologies just never seem to cut it. I think I've started to avoid them.
I want to use words I've heard, words that were told to me to use a scapegoat, to put blame upon, but I know only I am to blame.

I think I've been believing the lies I hear.
And I don't know what to do about it because whatever I come up with never seems enough.