a conversation with myself.

i was just thinking about how sad it was that i started or wanted to start so many blog posts but never really had the time to finish them and publish them.

i've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately...as i always do.

like how awesome it was to bake cookies to put in my stitch cookie jar! i hadn't baked or have anything in my cookie jar for a long time. i was so glad to bake a huge bunch of snickerdoodles last week and then come back to room to find people to feed the fresh-baked cookies to! joe, brendon, nathaniel, tony, and gary (although he stayed mostly next door), had come over randomly to visit. we had an good time just chilling while i worked on my project that was due the next day :P

i've also been thinking about how much stuff i have to remember. like, how does God expect us to do so much? we have to remember to pray faithfully and fervently, have a worshipful attitude in all that we do, work hard but not too much and keep a Sabbath day holy, forgive those who hurt us no matter how many times they do, share the gospel with everyone, don't keep God separate from every aspect of our life, be grateful for all that we have both good and bad, read the Bible, be kind, be gentle, be obedient...it's so much!
so when i'm in these sort of situations i pretend to be myself talking to myself and think, 'if i were telling this to me, what would i say?'

so here's how it'd probably go:
you (me): how are we supposed to obey and do all of these things God expects us to do all the time?
me: i know it seems hard, but hey, but that's why we need to constantly depend on God. He can give us the power to do those things - we just have to be willing to take it.
you: well, it still feels impossible. i mean, i understand that we'll have times where we'll be doing great with God, obeying Him, listening to Him and everything, but there are just parts of my nature or circumstances that seem to mess me up, throw me off.
me: i think that's why we constantly need God's mercy and grace and faithfulness everyday. He's constantly shaping us. you're always changing because of the choices you're given and the decisions you make. what those decisions look like are up to you. we're always given a choice. we're always given a choice. and sometimes you may have the heart to make the right choice, but it's definitely one step at a time. that's why the Christian life is compared to the perseverance and endurance of a long race. that's why we need to encourage and support each other. that's why we need to continue practicing disciplines. because it's hard. God never said that following Him would be easy. it's hard work every single day. but a lot of the things we know we need to "do" are things that we need to constantly practice and when we do, it'll start to come more easily. they'll become fruits of our labor. they'll start becoming our nature. so if you sincerely have the heart, the desire, the willingness to be who God wants you to be, then you'll keep going and keep working through all the rough stuff and difficulties to be carefully shaped.

wow, i should talk to myself more often.

okay i will write more another time. sorry this post was so blah.