Not really ready.

I have mixed feelings now about going back to school.
I didn't get to do everything I wanted to do here at home.
I was pretty excited before, but I think fear has come over me.
I'm going to miss my family. We've come a long way.
I don't want to repeat last semester, but I fear this semester is going to be harder.
Something big is coming this semester. I can feel it in my bones. I don't know how to prepare myself.
Responsibilities are ready to imprison me again.
I want to read. I didn't get to read as many books as I would've liked. I won't have as much time to read when I go back to school.
I fear losing myself in my tasks rather than in the art of losing myself in giving Him praise.
I'm tired of travel. My room has become my comfort zone. I know I must step out of it.
I miss Pam. I wish she didn't have to work so much.
I fear being on E-board more than last year. It's just different.
I need to adjust to changes.
I'm afraid of failing. But I don't want false hope.

My sovereign Father God of all creation and heaven above,
I need You.
I need to be reminded that You are with me.
Though I am weak, though I am young, You believe in me.
You've always chosen the underdog, the ones looked down upon in society to shine through it all.
You've always made things happen through those who humbled themselves - who knew their place but still rose when You called their names.
Father I fear what lies ahead because I cannot see in the darkness.
But You shine through me, and I know Your character.
In my eyes I have fallen short, but in Your eyes I have already achieved.
The devil uses my fear to bind me to lies - You use my fears to break through the lies and feed me the truth.
You carry me through.
You provide for me the very best, even when I mess up trying, just how You made animal skins for Adam and Eve to replace their measley fig-leaf clothing, after they had broken Your heart.
I am confident in Your promise never to forsake me.
You are here with me now.
I'll follow where You lead.
Amen.