His pursuit.

Thinking about my basic need for community has caused me to think of my basic desire for someone to reach out to me.

It's not a new issue, and I don't think I'm the only one in the world who wrestles through this.  If I remember correctly, Libby and I used to call it "the dreaded 'i' word" (or something like that) back in high school.  We would talk about how much we would do our best to take initiative with others (particularly with a specific group of friends) and how we wished they would take more initiative with us.  Being pursued by others was often so scarce in my life that I even mentally prepared myself for the possibility that a boy may never actually pursue me in life (which didn't turn out to be true, but I'm glad I prepared myself anyway!).  And after some tumultuous friendships over time tried to mentally prepare myself for the possibility that friends I have may not ever really pursue me the way I hoped they would.

Back in middle school or the beginning of high school, my pastor gave a sermon about taking initiative.  He defined someone who takes initiative this way:  you're aware of a need and you care enough to do something about it.  He said that you needed both "aware" and "care" to complete it because you can be aware of a need but not actually care enough to do anything about it, and you can care about a need but not actually be aware of what the realistic needs actually are in order to meet them well.  I always thought that was a good way of seeing it.

Dictionary.com simply defines initiative this way:  an introductory act or step; leading action.  In other words, you make the first move.  You reach out to someone.  I interchange the words initiative and pursue in this post because to me, to pursue someone is to take initiative with that person again and again and again.  We have this deep desire for someone to pursue us.  We want someone to know us with all of our strengths and weaknesses and still want to spend time with us, ask about how we're doing, and simply think about us from time to time.

The problem, though, is if everyone wants to be pursued, then who's going to take the initiative?

It would be a whole different issue if I expected people to pursue me without the equal expectation that I would pursue others.  I can't just sit around and complain while I lack my own discipline to extend the very initiative I wish others to extend to me.  I realized that I have not been doing as good of a job with this over this year as I have in the past, and that it is one way I can improve in loving others as myself.  While I can't expect others to change, I know I can work on changing myself.

And as God has taught me before, it's guaranteed that there are going to be times where I take the initiative to pursue others and it feels like no one is pursuing me.  It'll be tempting to blame others, resent them, or hold a grudge against them.  But in those times it'll be important to remind myself that someone is pursuing me.  In fact, God took the initiative with us before any of us ever did.

The question, then, is:  am I willing to let go of my pride and expectations to open my heart and eyes to see how He constantly pursues me each day?  

If so, then the question becomes:  how am I pursuing others the way God is pursuing me?  Am I aware of others' needs and do I care enough to do something about them?