i don't understand.

wow i don't remember posting that last blog entry. but good thing i did or else i would've written that all over again and then gave up finishing and then there'd be another blog entry to add to my unposted list.

so, something i've been struggling with this semester is this idea that i can't do everything. basically i understand that we can't do everything and that we shouldn't do everything, but i don't understand what things we should do and should concentrate on.

i keep asking God a similar question every day: God, how do you expect me to do everything i should be doing? for example, how am i supposed to do well in college, lead worship well, take care of the freshmen, take care of my sisters and my best friends and my friends back home and those i am leading, keep up with my reading for school, continue to pray throughout the day, read my Bible everyday but not just do it out of routine or habit, use my gifts and strengths but also strengthen my weaknesses, step out of my comfort zone, feed the hungry, manage my time and my money and my possessions well, eat healthy and exercise everyday, take care of my body, make sure i get enough sleep, and so much more....all at the same time/everyday?

i know that i have a personality thing where i like things to get done and be completed, and maybe i have a form of perfectionism in that sense, but how am i supposed to break out of that mindset? how am i supposed to make myself be okay with not completing something, with leaving some things off to the side?

oh my gosh i just had an epiphany! it's why i'm having such a hard time putting together my resumes.
resumes are only supposed to be a page long, right? and they're supposed to be shaped to the specific position that i'm applying for.
but i have like this huuuuge list of things that are important and could be relevant to that position, but there's not enough space to fit all of those things onto the page!

there are just so many things to take on, so many responsibilities, so many roles to live out that i never know which one to tackle first or what to do with the others.

and i know that that has to do with wisdom and discernment (which i know i have to keep praying and asking for), but i feel like that just adds on to the other things i'm supposed to do, the other things i'm supposed to keep in mind, the other attitudes i'm supposed to change.

what to do?