more soph?

"what year are you?"
"umm...fr...sssophomore?"

it's the sixth day i've been back at school, and thankfully, saying, "sophomore" is rolling off my tongue much easier than six days ago. i'm slowly getting "soph-ter." i'm getting used to being a sophomore, although i somewhat still feel like a freshman.

i think my room summarizes how i feel.

if you didn't know already, i'm rooming with michelle in her old room in digman in dickinson. and we arranged our room in such a way that neither of us really gets a whole wall to ourselves, and there are things that are the same from our old rooms, but there are things that have changed. for example, our closets are the same ones we had in our separate rooms. my string lights, curtains, and emerson postcard pictures are arranged the same way as my old room, while michelle's bed is in the same place as it was last year. our decorations are kind of fused together since we share our walls, and our desks are together on one side while our beds are together on the other side.

it's like a fusion - some parts old, some parts new, but combine it together to get something familiar but still new.

that summarizes sophomore year thus far. it's soooo crazy but it's so exciting but nerve-racking too.

so i've been kind of nervous about meeting newbies this whole past week, too. it's my usual clam-up and stick-with-familiar-people-and-don't-speak-to-new-people-unless-i-have-to attitude that i've had at the beginning of every school year since i was in kindergarten. i'm trying hard to break it...but sometimes my attitude and fear gets the best of me.

at the end of basileia i was all ready and excited to meet the newbies and then summer simmered that excitement a bit, and then coming back and seeing people who are so natural at keeping conversations with new people made me want to hide in my shell. a little bit. see, i'm good at welcoming people and saying hello to new people and being cheery and everything, i am. but you know how you need to find something to talk about or something in common with new people to expand the conversation? yeah, i'm not good at that.

i was talking about it with carrie the other day. she was saying that she's good at starting the conversation and then connecting that person with someone else. for me, i think i could complement the way carrie converses because i'm not good at starting a conversation and finding that thing to talk about. i'd be good if someone passed someone over to me saying, "oh, have you met tammy? she likes writing, too!" or, "hey, this is tammy, she went to francis lewis high school, too," or you know, something like that. then it's like i could continue the conversation off of that.

it's going to be an interesting general interest meeting on friday. we'll see how i do with the whole meet & greet. i really want to make new friends!

on another hand, today = a stressful long day. don't feel like going into details. i can't remember half of them.

woo-hoo sophomore year!