Today, like many days.

It's not my birthday.  It's not Christmas.  It's not the weekend.  I haven't been physically or emotionally hurt.  No one sent me any random cards, letters or packages in the mail.  No one gave me flowers.  No one treated me to a meal.  I'm pretty sure someone has prayed for me today even if they didn't tell me they did.  Even if no one did, it wouldn't matter.  I'm not fishing for compliments.  I don't feel lonely.  I don't feel overwhelmed.  I don't feel like I'm missing out on something in life.  I haven't had a deep, thought-provoking conversation.  I don't think I've necessarily grown closer to anyone or further away from those already close to me.  No one gave me extra spending money.  No one gave an anonymous large donation to my ministry.  No one has given me an encouraging word.  No one offered me a ride to places I need to go.  No one gave me advice.  I'm not sick.  I'm not depressed.  I'm not apathetic.  I care - about people, about strangers, about issues, about myself, about my responsibilities.  No one has poured out their heart to me.  No one has asked how I'm doing and genuinely cared about the answer.  No one has entrusted me with a secret.  I've ruined my own surprises for the week, but I'm not upset about it...anymore.  I spent more money than I would have liked this month.  I don't feel pressured by anyone.  I don't feel constrained or restricted or bound to someone else's expectations. It's beautiful outside, but even if it wasn't, it wouldn't matter.  I'm not having a good hair day, but it's not a bad hair day either.  No one switched around their schedule for me.  No one went out of their way to do something for me.  No one has gone out of their way to reach me.  No one told me they needed me.  No one asked for my help.  No one wrote on my Facebook wall, commented on my photos, or liked my Facebook status.  No one told me they read my blog.  No one texted me.  No one told me they thought of me when they heard this song or read this book or talked to this person.  I don't feel beautiful but I don't feel ugly.  I don't feel like a failure.  I've been working hard but I don't feel like I've been working hard enough.  I feel lazy.  I feel productive.  I feel accomplished and I feel like there's much more to get done.  I'm not looking for someone's approval.  I don't need a hug, but they are welcomed.  I'm not settling.  I am not satisfied with the way the world is.  I am serving my family and my friends as best as I humanly can.  I hope for the best and plan for the worst.  I have many questions without answers but I'm okay with never knowing them.  No one has showered me with compliments.  No one has recommended the perfect outfit for me.  No one has broken my heart.  No one has played with my heart.  No one left me post-its with nice notes written on it.  No one showed up on my doorstep unexpectedly.  I'm not looking for attention from strangers, from men, from my friends or my family.  I didn't have a spectacular bonding experience with anyone.  There's a pimple on my forehead that won't go away.  I'm not fond of rejection, but I'm not fearful of it.  I'm more open to fast changes in life than I would have been five years ago.  I believe in the little things and appreciate the big things.  I haven't worked on a song in so long or written a blog post in a few days.  I'm not famous and don't really strive to be.  I don't need fans or popularity.  I don't need people to follow me on Twitter or this blog.  I don't have a routine or a lot of structure right now, but my life does not depend on it.                                

No one told me how much they like me.            
No one told me they love me or "showed" me how much they love me.

But I don't need to hear it or see it everyday.
I know that who I am with others is aligned with who I am when I'm by myself.
I know I don't need to carry my burdens on my own shoulders and that I am surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses ready to share those burdens with me.

I know I am loved and that people care deeply about me.
And today, on a boring, ordinary, lovely Tuesday, I feel completely loved.